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Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......



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Old 07-07-2011, 11:27 PM   #1
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Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food!
My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride!
My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch!
My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones!
My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people!
My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe. For now................

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Old 07-08-2011, 06:14 AM   #2
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My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects........My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................
That's so true.
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Old 07-08-2011, 07:25 AM   #3
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Nice , i like that one, good read...



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Old 07-10-2011, 01:56 PM   #4
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lol, thats good stuff.
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Old 07-10-2011, 02:07 PM   #5
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Cool

crazy
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Old 08-04-2011, 06:42 PM   #6
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Diary Continued ... lol :)

Gotta love them !!
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:19 PM   #7
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yeah this is a story of a famous dog
the dog that chases its tail will be busy
these are trapping dogs
rhythmic dogs
hunting dogs
...
all dogs unite
dancing dogs
party dogs
nasty dogs

atomic dogs
atomic dogs housing and
running the street
bow wow yippe yo yippe yay

why must I chase the cat
nothing but the dog in me

do the dog catcher

Keeping hearing the song in my head ... lol
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Old 08-13-2011, 08:05 PM   #8
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one of my buddy's found it on youtube ... lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuyS9M8T03A
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:01 PM   #9
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Old 08-28-2011, 07:34 AM   #10
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Which way did he go George? lol
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Old 08-28-2011, 05:54 PM   #11
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Try this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBWrMQVsuak
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Old 08-28-2011, 06:00 PM   #12
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Old 08-28-2011, 10:24 PM   #13
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X2
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Old 08-29-2011, 09:16 AM   #14
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Cats are good for one thing and that's being a moving target
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Old 08-29-2011, 09:37 AM   #15
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Cats are good for one thing and that's being a moving target
That's just wrong. Cats are cool. No need for animal abuse.
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Old 08-30-2011, 04:51 PM   #16
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Old 08-30-2011, 05:43 PM   #17
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Just cause my cat may be smarter than yall doesn't mean you need to get defensive.
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Old 09-04-2011, 11:38 AM   #18
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Squirrel :)

If you haven't seen the movie UP .. you should but this is a scene from it ... movie recommended by a good friend - Dott Thanks ... too funny

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Old 09-10-2011, 04:09 PM   #19
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Smart Dog !



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Old 09-13-2011, 07:05 AM   #20
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Old 09-13-2011, 10:27 PM   #21
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How to make Puppy Pie ! :)

How to Make Puppy Pie

Take one puppy, roll and play until lightly pampered,

then add the following ingredients.....
...
1 cup patience....

1 cup understanding....

1 pinch correction....

1 cup hard work....

2 cups praise and 1 1/2 cups fun...

Blend well.

Heat with warmth of your heart until raised or until

puppy has doubled in size.

Mix with owner until consistency is such that owner

and puppy are one.

Enjoy!
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Old 09-28-2011, 12:35 PM   #22
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You Dog You
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Old 09-28-2011, 12:42 PM   #23
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Meth Lab....
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Old 09-28-2011, 09:19 PM   #24
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Meth Lab....
What? Thats pretty typical dog for around here.
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Old 09-29-2011, 04:26 PM   #25
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