Ham Test - Texas 4x4 Forum

Go Back   Texas 4x4 Forum > Miscellaneous > Humor

Photo Gallery Places to Wheel Gallery III Home Forum Tech Section IRCChat FlashChat

Humor Got a Funny to tell? Please remember this is a family site.

Texas4x4.org is the premier All All Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.

Humor:

Ham Test



Reply
 
Share LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-23-2005, 09:00 PM   #1
Trail Blazer
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: South Half Of Texas!
Posts: 471
PhulesAu will become famous soon enoughPhulesAu will become famous soon enough
Talking Ham Test

The new amateur radio test is here. A few changes have been made. The new test has been designed so that the same test can be given for all license classes. To qualify for the higher classes of license, all you have to do is score better on the test. This makes things so much simpler for VE's.

I have included a copy of the new exam. ================================================== ===============

Please PRINT (that means no squiggly lines)

YOUR NAME (what they call you) __________________________________________

ADDRESS (where you live) _______________________________________________

BIRTH DATE (when you were born) ________________________________

EXAM INSTRUCTIONS:

Make a circle (one of these round things O ) around the letter of the best answer! This is so we know what your answer to the question is!

1. You TALK into a microphone with your _______.

A. Hands
B. Feet
C. Toes
D. Mouth
E. Armpits

2. When you talk into a microphone, you talk into _______.

A. the front
B. the back
C. the top
D. the bottom
E. the wire

3. "HEADPHONES" are worn over the ___________.

A. Knees
B. Eyes
C. Toes
D. Ears
E. Lips

4. What do you do with the AC line cord coming out of a power supply?

A. Hold it in the air to pick up signals
B. Pull on it to start the motor
C. Talk into the plug to get real "skip DX"
D. Hook it to your antenna
E. Insert the plug into a source of power

5. A "two meter" radio is: (NOTE: There are TWO correct answers to this question...look at the last two...sshhhh)

A. twice as strong as a one-meter radio
B. two one-meter radios in series
C. a CB with two meters on the front panel
D. a good doorstop
E. a monoband radio

6. A "ten-foot mast" is about how long?

A. Three meters
B. Ten pounds
C. Two meters
D. Tree-top tall
E. Same length as basketball hoop is high

7. A "Triband antenna" is made to work on how many bands?

A. 1
B. 2
C. 3
D. 10
E. Try it on any band!

8. The "Marconi" antenna is named after:

A. Marconi
B. Mantovani
C. macaroni
D. Dean Martin
E. martini

9. What colors of DIODES can you buy at a Radio Shack store?

A. Red, blue and black
B. Red, yellow and green
C. Orange and brown
D. I am color blind so this is a discriminatory question and I should automatically get a waiver on this question. E. I have no intention of ever using DIODES, so don't care what color they are.

10. What color of SLURPEE can you buy at 7-11?

A. Red, blue and black
B. Red, yellow and green
C. Orange and brown
D. I am color blind so this is a discriminatory question and I should get another waiver on this question. I now have two questions right. E. All the above

11. You have just installed your new mobile rig in your vehicle and you are still parked at the curb, you need to pull out into traffic and you are talking to another station, so:

A. You put down the mic long enough to signal that you intend to pull away from the curb
B. You keep on talking and just pull out in traffic
C. You open your left rear door to signal that you want to pull out in traffic, while calling CQ DX on the repeater
D. You install a light bulb at the top of your antenna so that it will flash when you are talking on the radio and people will then know to let you out

END OF EXAM.

YOUR SIGNATURE (slap your tag here)

_________________________________________

================================================== ===============
SCORING:
Get ALL of them and you are a VE!
Get more than half of them correct and you get an EXTRA!!!!
Get at least a third of them right and you get a GENERAL!!!! Get more than TWO right and you get a TECHNICIAN!!! Get only ONE right? No more Novices so go back out in parking lot and study another five minutes. When you are done, come back in and try again. You'll do better..... Get NONE right? Back to 27 MHz CB.
__________________
What Do You Mean It's Not Phule Proof??
Red 04 L J 4" + 1"= More Fun The Grand Order Of Red Jeeps Society

TGCSAR

Mark
PhulesAu is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 08-24-2005, 07:37 AM   #2
Wheels 4 Food
 
OldGoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Cedar Creek Lake by the Country Club with the other old folks.
Posts: 3,059
OldGoat Surfs Venus with AnubisOldGoat Surfs Venus with AnubisOldGoat Surfs Venus with AnubisOldGoat Surfs Venus with AnubisOldGoat Surfs Venus with AnubisOldGoat Surfs Venus with AnubisOldGoat Surfs Venus with AnubisOldGoat Surfs Venus with AnubisOldGoat Surfs Venus with AnubisOldGoat Surfs Venus with AnubisOldGoat Surfs Venus with Anubis
hmmmm

Not the same as the old days lol

I walked into the test room back in 1982, sat down and did all the written tests for everything including extra class, passed them all but only walked out as a technician because I had yet to master the code above 5WPM.
The next summer after lots of practice I was doing a steady 25WPM and went to Arlington to the hamfest and in a room with over 200 people trying for the extra class 20WPM there were 2 of us who passed. She got the call AA5HG and I got lucky and got AA5HF
IMHO they can do away with the code part. Of course the internet has dealt a near death blow to Ham Radio anyway. Sad considering all Ham Radio has stood for all these years.
__________________
Official "WEB WHEELER" and arm chair Quarterback.
OldGoat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2005, 07:58 PM   #3
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Lewisville, Tx
Posts: 3,525
Stretch is a name known to allStretch is a name known to allStretch is a name known to allStretch is a name known to allStretch is a name known to allStretch is a name known to all
i remember trying to get mine when I was younger, but never did ace the code test and then gave up on it. oh well, got the internet these days, so since I can type 65 wpm with no errors, I figure I am doing pretty good in the communication world.
__________________
2008 BASS TRACKER 190

2014 JKUR
Stretch is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Old 09-15-2005, 08:19 PM   #4
newbie
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Llano
Posts: 47
hollandligon just gettin started
hell, I passed typing @ 25 wpm and only used two fingers
hollandligon is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:41 PM.


3.8.8 - Powered by vBulletin
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright 2002-2012 Texas4x4.org
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0