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I've met Johnny Cash
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Smoking--as in exhaust from a good old fashioned oil burner like my PSD.

[Warning: Humor impending]
I run a chip and quite a few mods, but I actually do make sure I don't run down the road stinking up the joint with clouds of black smoke like you usually see from over-fueled diesels.

Every now and then, though . . . . :evilbat:

Example: I'm sorry, I just refuse to be brainwashed by the idiotic concept that bicycles, a 35-pound human-powered contrivance that has a top speed of 35MPH in average hands, belongs anywhere in the middle of traffic on public streets in a large city like Houston. And, God help us, we are just loaded to the gills here with Granola-munching, sexually ambiguous pedal-weenies who, apparently all being independently wealthy and not having to work or have anyplace in particular they have to be during the day, choose to ride in the middle of the fargin' street during the work day! It's dumb, it holds up traffic and its dangerous.

So, at least once a week, you get trapped behind one of these packs of bicycling metrosexual Dingoes and they just tool along, not a care in the world. This is usually when you are going somewhere for your job and need to get there in a hurry. Indeed, you can feel their smug satisfaction because they know they are gumming up the works and it brings a smile to their Red-Bull stained lips to know they are holding up the Shitkicker in the evil fossil-fuel powered behemoth behind them (apparently it doesn't occur to them this wastes more of Mother Nature's Black Gold Dino Squeezin's in the process).

I confess I have a hard time relating in the first place, since I personally am not secure enough in my manhood to run around in those Spandex cycling shorts--outfits even Elton John would say, ". . . too gay for me, honey." Further, I wonder if the men-folk among the cycling eco-dweebs have perused the apparent, alarming association between testicular cancer, impotence and general genital mischief associated with riding around with bicycle seat up your arse all day. Have you seen the size of those seats? My 3 year old has an ass too big for those things.

So, what does that have to do with Eau de Diesel? Well, every now and then, when you finally can break out of bicycle-induced paralysis and get around them, it's nice to dial the chip over to max fuel and nail it. Black clouds issue forth from my 5" exhaust as though the eternal Furnaces of Hell themselves had opened up to forge more angry, non-politically correct hunks of steel like my Superduty to cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!

As I watch in my mirror the receding Pedal Pushers gag and choke, waving madly and futilely at their fake-tanned faces, various bugs falling dead out of the sky like snow on their helmeted heads, it gives my little black heart a warm and cozy feeling that I'll be too far up the road to make out all the single-digit salutes I know I'm getting by the time the smoke clears.

Mr. Spandex Wearing Yogurt Drinker, this one's for you: beer

[/humor end]
 

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Mas Tequila
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rockonn 1funny1 :rofl: :rofl: 1funny1 rockonn

when you meet RVreddog, ask him about Bike riders...... smokin
 

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bikes and *****

We have only one old guy and one younger ***** who ride their bikes around Carthage but, when they do get in front of you on our one horse lane right in the middle of town it does change the driving experience to maximum pissofftivity.
Of course X Man you do realize this will give them one more reason to air those stupid ESUVEE commercials which we are probably paying for with our tax dollars just like we are paying for the "TRUTH " ad campaign against smoking.
Glad to hear you smoked em.
 

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Man you're right, I can't stand the bikers we have around here. I havn't been held up by any but sheesh! And then they put in these "bike lanes", 2 foot wide strips on the side of the road, with a stripe to separate the 200lb bicycler and the 6000lb suburban...people have to be nuts to ride in those.
 

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1funny1 1funny1
 

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I've met Johnny Cash
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
OldGoat said:
Of course X Man you do realize this will give them one more reason to air those stupid ESUVEE commercials which we are probably paying for with our tax dollars just like we are paying for the "TRUTH " ad campaign against smoking.
Glad to hear you smoked em.
1funny1
Would you find it ironic if I told you I report every Houston Metro bus (most running ancient, poorly maintained Detroit Diesels) I see to the "smoking vehicles" emissions hotline in revenge for them gumming up traffic on surface streets? smokin
 

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I've met Johnny Cash
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Whifflebat said:
And then they put in these "bike lanes", 2 foot wide strips on the side of the road, with a stripe to separate the 200lb bicycler and the 6000lb suburban...people have to be nuts to ride in those.
LOL. Yep, the tow mirrors on my SD stick out a ways, so on the streets where we have those (Houston actually seldom bothers even with the bike lane stripe--the nimwits just ride in traffic), I usually have to crowd the center line to make sure I don't give someone a concussion.
 

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xanthias said:
LOL. Yep, the tow mirrors on my SD stick out a ways, so on the streets where we have those (Houston actually seldom bothers even with the bike lane stripe--the nimwits just ride in traffic), I usually have to crowd the center line to make sure I don't give someone a concussion.

Yeah, out here on the nw side they do the stripes, and even put the little diamonds down the middle on some roads :lol: Whenever I drive the suburban or the dodge i'm always worried about whacking someone backside of their head.
 

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ironic

I do not find it ironic at all. In fact, nothing hacks me off more than to get a speeding ticket while some jerkoff passes me and the trooper and he has to stop writting till the smoke clears from the passing motorist with no rings and/ or bad valve seals. Now what is worse, a smoking old heap or me speeding? Of course it is all about money, not safety. The guy in the new truck always gets the ticket because he can obviously afford to pay while some POS drives on down the road never getting a ticket. Sorry to somewhat hijack but, my .02 worth.
 
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